Tag Archives: love

Just my type

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LoveDefinitionInTypewriter1The first Valentine’s Day after my divorce, I felt massacred . It had been over a year since I discovered his affair, and I filed for divorce on February 9th the following year.

He  had moved and they were expecting a chocolate child.

What I truly missed on this Hallmark Holiday, are the last-minute gold and diamond trinkets he used to rush out and buy me.  I miss his guilt gifts.

The next year, I decided I needed to find a new way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Instead of dwelling on what I no longer had, I would focus on what I still had/have — good  humor. While my ex-husband was living  in a McMansion with his new family , I was wasting away in “Margaritaville.

The guests at my pity party had long gone, but the party on my face was going strong. I needed to put down the shaker and shake my mind maker – writing.   I used to write everyday.  Okay, not everyday, but I thought about it everyday.  I am writing now.  Word.

I’ve had my heart-broken many times since my divorce.  I still get, “can’t we be friends,” from men who don’t know the meaning of friendship, or they wouldn’t ask such a moronic question.

Today, I will not receive flowers, chocolates or Victoria’s Secret thongs (which are just plain wrong.)

Tomorrow, I will go to the drug store and buy myself a big box of chocolates marked, 50%  – Rose boxers, too.  Because I am worth it and so are you!

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“You’re the first, the last, my everything!”

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Roses are red, February is love dread

If this is another Valentine’s Day’s with no Boo  

Here’s what we’re going to do

Skip the nervous breakdown

By staying in our nightgown.

 

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On Valentine’s Day, lovers everywhere celebrate the day with all sorts of rituals, both old and new. Flowers will be given, romantic candlelight dinners enjoyed and intimate relations of course enjoyed.
One of the added touches to any Valentine’s Day celebration is music. Mood setting music ranging from romantic to sexy will be played in restaurants, living rooms, and, well, yes, bedrooms.
But what about those without a significant other? What about those who have recently gone through a breakup or just have not found that soul mate yet?
What kind of music should THEY be playing?
I’m glad you asked.
The following is a list of my top ten all time anti-Valentine’s Day lyrics.
Oran “Juice” Jones “The Rain”
The classic Def Jam record chronicles the story of a man who catches his woman on a date with another man, and concludes with the hilarious confrontation.
“Did you miss me? I missed you too. I missed you so much I followed you today.”
Eminem “Kim”
Raw emotion makes for great art. Eminem wrote this murderous tale after his on/off girlfriend Kim (hence the title) cheated on him. This one still gives me chills to this day.
“Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me / But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18 / That was years ago / I thought we wiped the slate clean”
Erykah Badu “Tyrone”This classic song about a woman kicking her man to the curb even had the fellas conceding defeat.“I think you better call Tyrone / But you can’t use my phone”

D’Angelo “S**t, Damn, M**********r”

R&B’s Howard Hughes sings about catching his wife with his best friend. Violence ensues.

“I’m ’bout to go get my nine / and kill both of y’alls behinds”

TLC “No Scrubs”

Labeled male bashers by every man after the song dropped, only the ones that fit the description should’ve been mad at T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli.

“I don’t want your number / No / I don’t wanna give you mine / And no / I don’t wanna meet you nowhere / No / I don’t want none of your time”

Kelis “Caught Out There”

Kelis’ debut single was definitely the tale of a woman scorned and helped make her a household name.

“So sick of your games / I’ll set your truck to flames / And watch it blow up, blow up”

Blondie  “Heart of Glass”

The dance-able, pop song from pop-punk band Blondie is too charming to resist, with Debbie Harry’s beautiful voice, and the catchy guitar riff. ‘Once had a love, and it was divine/Soon I found out I was losing my mind.’

Soft Cell – “Tainted Love”

Don’t touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I’m going to pack my things and go

Gloria Gaynor – “I Will Survive”

I’ve got all my life to live
I’ve got all my love to give
And I’ll survive

Tina Turner – “What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

 

 

December Flower Power

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floral frameNarcissus – you know this flower as a daffodil, though the botanic name for it is narcissus.

This flower got me thinking about narcissistic behavior in our society.

Everybody needs a little me, me time and self-love now and then.  Just make sure when you’re self-absorbed your sponge isn’t contaminated with self-centered toxins that can cause a behavioral bacterial infection.  There’s a fine line between self-preservation and selfish, self-centered behavior.  Be sure to keep yourself in check or you might find yourself reflecting on nothing but yourself.

According to mythology, Narcissus loved himself so much he died waiting for himself.  What I do know is that love works best when it is shared with another living creature.  Love is great when it’s shared with a mate.  But it’s also grand when shared with a family member, friend, or produced by providing random acts of kindness.  Love is especially sweet when it is given freely and unconditionally from the heart.  Ask not what love can do for you.  Ask what you can do for love.

For the mythology lover in you…

The myth of Narcissus is one of the most known Greek Myths, due to its uniqueness and moral tale; Narcissus, was the son of River God Cephisus and nymph Lyriope. He was known for his beauty and he was loved by God  Apollo due to his extraordinary physique.

The myth of Narcissus comes in two different versions, the Greek and the Greco-Roman version, as both Conon the Greek and Ovid, the Roman poet, wrote the story of Narcissus, enhancing it with different elements.

The Greek Version of the myth of Narcissus

According to Conon, Aminias, a young man fell in love with Narcissus, who had already spurned his male suitors. Aminias was also spurned by Narcissus who gave the unfortunate young man a sword. Aminias killed himself at Narcissus’ doorstep praying to the Gods to give Narcissus a lesson for all the pain he had provoked.

Narcissus was once walking by a lake or river and decided to drink some water; he saw his reflection in the water and was surprised by the beauty he saw; he became entranced by the reflection of himself. He could not obtain the object of his desire though, and he died at the banks of the river or lake from his sorrow.

According to the myth Narcissus is still admiring himself in the Underworld, looking at the waters of the Styx.

The Roman Version of the Myth – Ovid

The myth presented by Ovid the poet is slightly altered. According to this myth, Narcissus’ parents were worried because of the extraordinary beauty of the child and asked prophet Teiresias what to do, regarding their son’s future.

Teiresias told them that the boy would grow old only if “he didn’t get to know himself”. When Narcissus was sixteen he was walking in the woods and Nymph Echo saw him and felt madly in love with him. She started following him and Narcissus asked “who’s there”, feeling someone after him.

Love is a Battlefield

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War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Whether you feel that you were honorably or dishonorably discharged from your marriage service – you are a Veteran of Divorce.

Even though it’s a safe bet that your divorce papers were not signed at the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month at the Palace of Versailles, France, you are a Veteran of the Battle of the Break-up.

For the lucky few who saw no combat and came through the battle unscathed, consider it your patriotic duty to visit with those who were wounded in the fight.

The combat is over but many may be suffering from post traumatic divorce stress and other casualties of war.

Unfortunately, this country does not honor us with a legal holiday, parades, words of praise, or metals.

So as we see fit to honor our women and men who gave their service or their lives to keep freedom ringing, let’s take a moment to honor those for whom the wedding bell no longer tolls.

Skip the Veteran’s Day sales (or go for the early bird specials) and honor yourself and those who have served in the military of matrimony.

This can be a simple gesture or an honor guard affair depending on the number of your close Veteran friends.  For the inaugural event, try and keep it simple by hosting a Pretty Metal party.

This will give you and your friends something to do with your hands while you exchange war stories.  And if you can’t rally the troops, craft a few on your own and hand deliver ‘em to your emotionally disabled comrades.

Suggested honors:

Good Conduct

Awarded to the divorcee who in the face of public humiliation opted to take the high road and held her head high.

Heroism

Awarded to the divorcee who showed the greatest restraint without a restraining order.  

Prisoner of War

Awarded to the divorcee who endured the longest divorce.

Victory

Awarded to the divorcee who didn’t see the divorce coming, but quickly regrouped and was victorious in the settlement.

Purple Heart

Awarded to the divorcee who survived the most vicious attacks on her person.  This could be in the form of being left for another woman, man, the nanny, the neighbor or discovering that her husband had a child during the course of the marriage.

Salute you and others for being survivors in a war that is rarely recognized and its casualties too often forgotten.   

A Fall From Intention

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Hey Mrs. NoMores!  Mama needs a new pair of shoes.  So please go to the link below and vote for me (pen name – Anne) and I will be thankful…:)

Below is an excerpt of what else?  Love gone real wrong….A Fall from Intention, by yours truly.

http://www.ebookmall.com/author/anne

“I’m pregnant,” Savannah said as she downed the remains of her sake and polished off her fifth octopus-marinated bay tako.

The sight of raw anything made Radley nauseous. He couldn’t wait to get home and eat some properly prepared dead food. “Who’s the lucky Tuna Roll?”

“Don’t be daft. That’s why we’re here. In Japanese, Koi means a longing feeling for a specific person. Koi is always wanting. Koi is love.”

Radley stood up and placed three one hundred dollar bills on the table.  “There’s nothing coy about you.”

Page had not seen Savannah before the taping. She attempted to get comfortable on the overly down couch. Savannah entered the set carrying a hardback copy of Tick Tock and flopped down on the opposite corner of the couch.  Every bit the modern day, Twiggy,  she slithered over to Page who bent down and sneezed on Savannah’s leopard print skinny jeans.

“It’s a good thing I’ve had my flu shot,” Savannah said as pulled out a tiny bottle of  hand sanitizer from the fold of the coach and spritzed herself all over, before doing  the same to Page.

“I’m sorry.  I’m allergic to perfume.”

“I feel the same way about books,” Savannah said as she ran her hair through her blond bob.

Page leaned over and whispered, “I thought we could talk about the chapter on…”

Savannah interrupted, “I can handle this.”

“And in four, three, two…” the director cued Savannah.

“Welcome back to IT. I’m pleased to have seated next to me author and coach of life, Page Hill-Moore. Savannah holds up the book.  According to her latest tome, Tick Tock we are already late for everything and everybody.”

The applause sign lit up and the audience claps wildly. “Thank you Savannah, it’s a pleasure to be here.”

“Before we proceed and in the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal that Miss Page is married to the executive producer of this show, Radley Moore.  According to your book, Tick Tock, time is not on our side.  I think Mick Jagger would disagree, don’t you?”

“No expiration date is the same.  A dying person does not wish they had spent more time shopping.” Page responded.  “They wish they had spent more time with family and friends.”

The audience applauds.

“I want to die in Harrods.”

The audience laughs.

“You’ll find several chapters on the importance of quality time and relationships that…”

“Let’s get personal, Page.  You’ve been out and about promoting your book.  Your husband is always here.  I venture to say, I spend more time with him than you do.  When do you two find the time to do the do?”

“I agree.  According to my husband,  you require tons of tutor time regarding most topics, with the exception of all things cosmetic.  My husband and I value quality verses quantity time.  We always make time for play  dates.”

Savannah had to wrap this segment up before she vomited.  She’d been sick all morning. She flips to one of the post-it marked chapters in the book.  “Talk about the chapter, Let Go My Egg-o. Women are buying and selling their yolks like an IPO.  Sounds a lot to me like capitalism at its finest.”

Page could feel perspiration drops under her arms. Why is she attacking me? This was supposed to be a fluffy segment. She could appreciate being grilled about her theories from someone who had at least reads books, but not by someone who considers clothing labels short stories.

“You’re childless. Why don’t you adopt? You and your husband can certainly afford the colors of the rainbow,” Savannah said as she swallowed acidic bile.

“That’s a personal decision.  At this time in our lives, my husband and I feel it would be selfish to bring a child into our controlled chaos.  If and when my husband and I decide to have an addition to our family, it will be with much thought and planning. It’s not like adding an extra bathroom.”

“Good thing some of our mums couldn’t wait until they were ready. “

Radley watched the interview from the control room. He had to keep it together until he paid off her contract and found a new IT Girl.  If all went according to plan, Savannah would be gone when he and Page returned from Bali.

He’d instructed his assistant, Blair to put the word out that a search was on for a new host. A fresh face. A new IT face. He was confident that a year from now, Savannah would be on Dancing With The Stars.

Me, me, me!!!

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Self-Awareness & Self-Improvement Month

For the newly divorced the bookshelves are filled with how you can turn any tragedy into   triumph; see your divorce as the road to your true destiny;  divorce as discovery; divorce as divine intervention; divorce as getting to know you; divorce as becoming a better you and really, really liking you when nobody else does.

You can continue to shrink your pocket-book at the shrink’s office, or sit down with pen and paper and do the math.  I feel the need here for another personal disclaimer – therapy has its time and place.  I tried it myself.  It felt like I was paying someone to listen to me, when my family and friends had heard enough.

My mother suggested I do what I do best – talk to myself. Nobody knows me better than me. When I got honest with myself, I knew exactly what went right and what went wrong in my marriage.

To quote Gladys Knight,” neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye.”

 That’s why the Summons was invented.