Sample ASS (awkward spooky social situation)

Standard

Night of the Living Dread

You accept an invitation to a costume party and decide that being a tree just isn’t meant to be.  You decide to go dressed as Elvira – Mistress of the Dark.  

You squeeze the life out of you and pour yourself in  a skin-tight floor length black spandex dress supported by a slimmer, a push-up bra that pushes your pumpkins beyond the patch and a long black wig.  You hope to find Mr. Monster Man, if only for one night.

Several hours and too many cocktails later, you find yourself bobbing for apples, not noticing that your pumpkins have freed themselves from wonder bondage.  You are saved from complete embarrassment by a man who resembles Herman Munster.

Before you realize that he’s creepy and add a little kooky, you and he have mysteriously landed out back in a hammock acting ooky.

You feel there is hope for you and the Munster when suddenly a woman dressed as Lily Munster rushes over and demands to know what the Hades is going on.

You find out in short order that these Munsters are married and Mrs. Munster showed up unexpectedly as she was supposed to be home due to a migraine.

Do you:

A. Throw up on Herman.

B.  Apologize to Lily and give her your phone number and that of your divorce attorney.

C.  Shuffle away as fast as your spandex will allow.

D.  Whisper to the Munster to call you.  What the hell, you’re lonely and your husband did it to you.  As a matter of fact, everybody’s doing it except you.

Answer: B & C.  You must remember who are the real monsters is in this scenario.  Lily may need a friend to talk to and who better than somebody almost caught up in the web of deceit and desire.

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