Monthly Archives: September 2012

Like sands through the hourglass…

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End of summer thoughts

The kids are back at school and you can put away that swimsuit for another year and cheer that you made it through your first summer sans a significant other.

Some of you may have taken full advantage of having fun in the sun, while some of you may have drowned your sorrows in wine coolers.  Either way, you’ve made it through without drowning in your emotional swimming pool.

Summer nights are tough when you’re out for a stroll and it seems that everyone except you has someone – to hold on to.  Just remember you were one of those couples too.

Seeing is not always believing when it comes to what’s really going on between those clinched hands.  Remember when you strolled the streets hand in hand with your man, having mastered the art of whispering obscenities while smiling?

Next summer you may find yourself once again watching the sun set with a new somebody or better yet, be able to enjoy the sand all by yourself.

When Opposites Attack

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The theory that opposites attract is a myth, say a group of U.S. scientists who have found men and women are more likely to choose partners who are similar — or they believe are similar — to themselves.

Both sexes are most likely to attract individuals who look like them and have the same wealth, social status and share the same outlook towards family and fidelity, the new research suggests.

Previously, it had widely been thought that women who saw themselves as very attractive preferred socially dominant men, and men who were confident socially and economically looked for the most attractive women.

Was your marriage held together by crazy glue?
Was it love at first sight?  Did you and your  ex think  love would keep you together?  Was it a nice day for a White wedding?  Straight jackets are white too. Did you wear those?
Love means never having to say,  I was subjected to a 72-hour hold.

Try to Remember

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If you wed in September

Remember it as a labor of love.

Consider yourself reborn and ready to start anew where ever the day takes you.

Seize the moments of joy that are sure to come your way. 

 

 

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and oh, so mellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.
Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow.

Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow,
Follow, follow, follow, follow.

Try to remember  when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow.
Try to remember, and if you remember,
Then follow…

BFF – Beware

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Having a dear female friend is like no other.  She is someone to share your deepest most intimate thoughts and fears with.  When times get rough, she’s there to smooth things over.  You laugh together, cry together, shop together, etc.

If you curse your ex, she quickly steps in and adds her own creative put downs.  And when you were going through your divorce she was there with the DVD’s, Doritos and margaritas.

In short, you have each other’s backs.  When you think of great friendships, you think Oprah & Gayle, Laverne & Shirley, Lucy and Ethel, and Heather and Denise come to mind. Okay scratch that last one.

It’s my guess that Heather Locklear and Denise Richards didn’t celebrate  Women’s Friendship Day (September 17) together.

Just two months after filing for divorce from her husband Richie Sambora, Heather and the world learned that her “friend” and neighbor, Denise, was strumming her fate with Richie’s fingers.

Shame on her for breaking the unwritten girlfriend’s rules of engagement: never get involved with a friend’s ex without written permission.

Never mind the fact that when Denise was going through her divorce, Heather gave her strength and support.   What a pal.

When Boob things happen to Bad men

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A labor of love has been described as displaying acts of kindness, courtesy, mercy and mitzvah.  It is the performance of an act without compensation or material reward.

In the case of the newly divorced, this task can be nearly impossible when the recipient of this love labor is your ex.

You don’t have to be Mother Teresa in order to show him that you really don’t want him six feet under.

For example:

He’s been hospitalized following a man boob reduction gone terribly wrong.

Do you:

A. Praise the Lord

B. Bring him a bra.

C.  Buy him a nipple

D. Put aside your pride and visit him bearing sweets you know he can’t have.

Answer:  D: Call him to find out how he’s doing.  If he is in a relationship that’s enough labor – if he’s not, sincerely ask if he needs anything and visit him.

You might need him if your balloons burst one day.

Single, Ask me How

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Wanted:  Any Man, Single and Free – if it’s September 19 through the 23 it must be National Singles Week!

Romance may still be on your mind from last month’s musing, but I don’t make these things up.  Rest assured you are not alone in being alone.  According to the U.S. Census Bureau in 2005, approximately 89.8 million of us were unmarried and/or single (age 18 and over).

Sounds good until you realize that fifty-four percent of the un-coupled are women.  But you already knew that by your own research, in the form of your divorced or never married female focus group (a.k.a. girlfriends).

In honor of singles week, gather the girls and go out.  Party like it’s 2002. Get funky, get loose.  Just don’t drink too much Grey Goose.

If you can’t remember what happened the next morning,  look at the photo posted on your FB page by your BFF.