National Hot Dog Month
Wieners in one form or another have been around since the days before Christ. In Homer’s Odyssey he wrote the following about the schlong around 850 B.C.
“As when a man besides a great fire has filled a sausage with fat and blood and turns it this way and that and is very eager to get it quickly roasted…”
I interpret that to mean: Let’s have a weenie roast! Gather the girls, the sticks, and the dogs round the campfire for a grand roast and in honor of Jayne Mansfield, who was crowned Miss Hot Dog Ambassador in 1950.
Depending on your ex, choose your dog size from the various choices offered to you – Sausage, foot long, weenie or cocktail size.
The girl with the smallest weenie on her stick goes first, unless someone’s ex’s goes by the name Frank, then she gets to roast her Frankfurter first.
Turn the roast into a language lesson by calling out your hotdog by its foreign name. Here are a few translations:
German: heisser hund
Italian: cane caldo
Spanish: perrito caliente
French: chien chaud
As the worstjes roasts, take turns telling your favorite tail o’weenie. Depending on how comfortable she (you) feel about dog disclosure, tell the group what you really miss about the dog, if you miss it at all.
Was it good?
Did it fill you up? Or leave you feeling empty?
When the last schlong has been grilled, don’t forget to toast the buns.