Love is more than a day, unless you put it on lay-away

Standard

Sample ASS (awkward social situation)

Roaming around the mall you suddenly find yourself inside a jewelry store and  realize something’s missing on your person: a pair of diamond earrings. The store is packed with men frantic to make up for last week’s Valentine gift gaff of lingerie fit for a pussycat doll.  Without warning a sales associate ask if you need assistance.  You want to reply, “Yes, call 911 I’m having a broken heart attack.”

Instead, speechless you point to a sparkling pair of studs.  When ask if they’re for you, you blurt out that your husband is a Doctor without boarders and he insisted that you pick out anything your heart desires.

Suddenly overwhelmed with guilt, you vow to rush home and send money to “Save the Children.”  Just as you turn to leave you see your ex-husband’s best friend.  This is your first sighting of him since your divorce.

Do you:

A. Drop, tuck and roll your way out of the store.

B.  Speak first to take control of the situation.  “Hello Scooter.  What a pleasant surprise.  Looking for something for Tiffany or your office wife?”

C.  Let him approach you, and when he asks you the perfunctory “What’s new?”  You reply, “Everything.”

D.  Throw your arms around him and cry like a baby as you demand to know everything your ex-husband has been up too since the spilt.

Answer: Try C.  It’s positive, yet reveals nothing.  Excuse yourself and head to the food court.  After lunch, return to the jewelry store and treat yourself to a diamond heart to signify your new start.

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