Awkward social situations (ASS) are going to be the norm your first year, Mrs. No More. When you least expect it, you may find yourself having to explain what happened or what did not. When most acquaintances’ inquire, “How are you?” They really don’t want to know unless it involves them.
Sample ASS: Looking like you’ve just emerged from a coma, you enter the supermarket in search of much needed supplies for your household. Even though the sun’s been down for hours, you are wearing your Jackie-O sunglasses to shade your raccoon eyes from the public and a baseball cap to hide your matted hair. You’re in a daze at the wall of fermented fruit when you hear a voice that fills you with joy and pain, “Hey, how’s it going?” your ex-beau says.
Do you: A. Have a melt down on aisle seven.
B. Grab any bottle and tell him you’re late for your America’s Got Talent callback.
C. Tell him how he’s ruined your life for infinity.
D. All the above.
Answer: B. He’ll have to watch to see if you’re telling the truth.